Author Ms Puddyn's Page

“No Momma. I promise to be quiet while you work with those men. Please don’t leave me in the car again.” I begged for mercy.
Through shivering lips, I looked around, hearing the barking dog. Pressing my small, sticky face against the window, I watched with sad, puffy eyes as my mother, Martha Jean, activated the car alarm, with me still inside. Trembling, I sat in the raggedy Ford Tempo and watched Momma disappear into the night air.
Howling winds pounded against the passenger door. Quivering and rubbing my shoulders, I zoomed in on the orange silhouette in the sky. “I’m scared,” I said, blinking my tired eyes a few times, slowly closing them for the night.
From the comfort of the dope house, Momma continuously watched the door as she put her face up to the large plate, sniffing the lines whenever her turn came around.
Momma’s time at entertaining the supplier came up. She sighed when he signaled for her to join him. “Martha Jean, put that plate down and get in here, now. I’m horny and I need my dick sucked.” He yelled at her. Jumping up, Momma rushed to get her session over with.
“Martha Jean, that child is sleeping in the car again.” The other woman glared at her.
“She’ll be fine. She better be glad I let her come.” Martha Jean waved off at any further thoughts, closing the bedroom door.
Five hours later and Martha Jean strolled to the car, glancing at her watch once. Fumbling through her stolen handbag, finding the trial size half used alcohol first, her keys seemed to be hiding. She continued to look backwards, noticing the woman standing on the porch, phone in hand, knife in the other.
Opening the door, Momma shoved me in the back, punching me once the first time. I whined a little then popped my knuckles to relieve the cramps I was feeling.
“Get your ass up before I beat the hell out of you. Didn’t I tell you to stay awake until I came back?” She took her shoe off and popped me again, this time leaving a bruise on my left thigh.
“I’m sleepy.” I rubbed the bruise, whining. Wiping my big brown eyes, I stared at my mother.
“You’re so hard head and look at this seat; you pissed on it, didn’t you?” I flinched when she yelled; then again, I always flinched when Momma spoke. Her words usually were backed up by licks, many licks. Sometimes she even hit me with objects she’d find laying around.
“No Momma. You can smell it. That’s water. I don’t pee in the bed; I’m ten years old, remember.” I put my hand up in protest, hoping she’d let me slide without a beating for one day.
“I know your age. Who the hell asked you to get smart?” Extending her right arm straight out, Momma connected with my jaw. It made a cracking sound afterwards.
The licks moved from my face to every spot on my bony body not covered by clothing. Momma fussed, “You gonna learn not to disobey me.” Her words were choppy with each lick. They got harder with each blow.
I watched Momma’s hands while she started the car and began our journey. Fear caused me to look away and out the window, instead of in Momma’s eyes. All I could see was a hollow black hole in them, darkness of some kind.
My head bobbled, causing me to look in Momma’s direction again with each jerk. I prayed she hadn’t seen me fighting my sleep. Seeing the leaning, twisted stop sign at the entrance to grandma’s neighborhood, sparks formed in my eyes. Bubbles twirled in my stomach. Finally, I was going to eat after two days of drive-by tricks and lots of candy. My stomach ached and I planned to eat everything in sight once Momma left me for a visit. I unbuckled my seat belt, springing up in the seat.
“Don’t you dare show off because you’re at your grandmother’s house,” Momma fussed, lighting a cigarette.
I looked from her moving lips back to Uncle Alvin Lee standing on the porch, grinning. I didn’t like him much.
From the driveway where we sat, smoke rose on the passenger side. Holding tears back, I put my head down, staring at the fresh, burning black mark on my leg. My eyeballs drifted over to the half used cigarette Momma was holding. No traces of lip stick could be found on the top part of the cigarette. Tears rolled down my high cheek bones and onto the spotted t-shirt I’d worn the last two days. I opened the door to exit the worn down, musky car.
“Suprema,” Momma called out. I became tense, hoping she wasn’t going to stay for the visit.
Staring straight ahead at the neighbor’s brownish-green patchy grass, I responded, “Yes ma’am.” Stammering with each word, my hands began to shake uncontrollably.
“If you open your big mouth about where we’ve been to your nosy grandmother, I’m gonna beat you all night. You hear me, girl?” The hairs on my neck stood up, while Momma’s eyebrows rose.
Fumbling with the door knob, I thought about her threat and what she would do to me later. Knots formed in the pit of my stomach.
“Yes ma’am,” I stuttered. “Bye Momma.” My eyes followed the backfiring sounds until her multi colored vehicle backed out the driveway and was no longer in sight.
“Suprema, come sit on my lap.” My Uncle Alvin Lee motioned from the edge of the porch.
There goes that look again, I mused.
Dropping my head, I drug my feet to where he stood. He flopped down into the three legged, wobbly kitchen chair. My body froze as I took a step backward.
“What you waiting on? I aint got all day.” He reached for my hand.
Snatching away, I said, “No. I don’t want to do it anymore. I want my grandma.”
He touched his thick, leather belt, standing up to walk toward the first step.
“Grandma,” I yelled.
Opening the tattered screen door, Mrs. Betsy Mae, my grandmother, Alvin Lee’s mother, emerged with a potato in one hand, can of dipping Tobacco in the other.
“Alvin Lee, what are you doing to this child? Didn’t I tell you about harassing her?” Grandma swatted in his direction. He ducked, sneering at me.
“Now both of y’all come in here and help me wash these peas and peel some potatoes.” Her voice boomed. We hopped up, complying with her orders.
Alvin Lee followed closely on his mother’s heels like a puppy. “I’m gonna get you later.” He wiggled his smelly finger towards me before entering the scorching house.
Box fans sat in each window, blowing warm air. The door squeaked, closing behind me. A nail stuck out the bottom of the door, causing it to remain slightly ajar, allowing the neighborhood cat to creep in.
“Meow!” The cat screamed after my foot connected with its head.
“I hate you cat.”
“You better not be kicking that cat again. You know they’re God’s creations.” Grandma loved stray things. I guess that’s why she always allowed me to come over.
“I’m not, that’s the TV.” I fibbed, bumping the aluminum foil covered antenna to the floor as I rushed by it.
“Come sit on my lap.” My grandmother patted her knee, pushing the bowl to the other side. I loved going over for visits whenever Momma let me. Grandma always hugged and kissed me, Momma never did any of that stuff.
“Did your Momma tell you what she was going to name the baby?” Grandma’s eyes didn’t dance like they did whenever she mentioned other family members having kids or getting married.
“I didn’t know she was pregnant.” I rolled my eyes, wondering if she would beat this baby like she always did me. Looking back into my grandma’s face, I asked, “Is she having a boy or a girl?”
Grandma laughed before saying, “I wish she wasn’t having anything, but unfortunately, it’s a girl.”
Grandma tapped her foot. “Natefa is the name she will give her. Maybe this one will slow her down and make her a better parent.” Grandma mumbled, putting more tobacco under her tongue.
“Suprema, you know you’ll always be grandma’s favorite, right?” Grandma squeezed me tight. I stood up, kissing her on those fat cheeks. While we embraced, the fat from underneath her arms shook.
“Where did your mother say she was headed this time?” Grandma frowned whenever she mentioned Momma in a sentence.
“I don’t know.” I hunched my shoulders. “We haven’t been home since Thursday.”
Standing me up and turning me around to face her, grandma looked into my eyes before asking, “What do you mean y’all haven’t been home? Where in the devil have y’all been?” Grandma folded her arms.
I covered my mouth, realizing I’d had a slip of the tongue. “Um, we were at one of Momma’s friend’s house. I slept in the car while she was inside.”
The humming mustard colored greasy phone caused me to panic, hoping Momma wasn’t calling so soon. “Grandma, you want me to get it?” If it was Momma, I planned to hang it up.
“Let it ring. Your Momma’s got some explaining to do face to face.” Grandma rubbed her fingers through my bushy hair, sighing. She pulled my head against her chest, soothing my back. Uncle Alvin Lee looked on, rolling his eyes at the scene.
After cooking her famous celery seasoned ribs, potato salad and corn on the cob, grandma stomped to the door hearing the car pull into her driveway. I stuffed my face with the feast, hoping my mother and grandma wouldn’t have a talk.
Grandma’s face held a frown as she signaled for Momma to walk with her to the side of the house. “Why do you treat that girl like a stray dog?” I heard grandma fussing at Momma. “Didn’t I tell you to give her to me at birth if you were going to abuse her?” Grandma wagged her finger in Momma’s face.
Glaring and raising her voice, Momma asked, “What are you talking about this time?” Their conversation became less audible as the two moved on the side of the house. I darted to grandma’s room, pressing against the wall, still nothing could be heard.
Taking my place back on the sofa, I turned pale watching Alvin Lee enter the living room, beer in one hand, remote in the other. “Come here.” He put one finger over his mouth, signaling with the other for me to get up.
I got up to run, tripping over his long leg, falling to the shaggy carpet. “One more time and I promise never to bother you again.” He snickered, rubbing his belly.
“You promise?” Goose bumps formed on the base of my neck.
He shook his head yes, patting his knee again. “This the last time, I swear.” He smirked.
I hopped onto his lap, watching him from my peripheral vision. Uncle Alvin Lee rocked his knees, humming a song I wasn’t familiar with. My eyes fell to the gray hair on his beard. His beady eyes followed mines. Lowering my head once more, I clasped my hands. The bottom of my chin touched my neck.
“You afraid of me, girl? I never hurt you. Remember last time I let you get up early.” His words echoed in my ears, causing a reflex. I jerked, turning away with embarrassment.
With my head still turned to the side, he slid his hand up the sides of my loose shorts.
Momma stormed to the front door, snatching it open. We both jumped, fearfully staring in her direction. She stuck her head in the door, freezing at the sight of me sitting on her brother’s leg in the small living room.
That scenery brought back painful memories for her, I’d later find out.
“Get your ass out here, now.” She pulled my ears, marching me to the car.
Reversing the car with one hand, Momma stretched her right arm and popped me in the eye with the other one. “You talk to damn much. When you gone learn to keep your big mouth shut?” The car accelerated off the street and into the wind, stopping only to pull into our driveway, four blocks away.
Covering one eye, I jumped after hearing Momma yell, “Shut the hell up before I stomp you. Now go in there and clean the bathroom and I don’t want to hear another word from you today.”
Heading straight to the bathroom, I scrubbed each piece of usable material carefully. Minutes later, mumbling noises came from the kitchen. Allowing my nosy persona to overtake me, I tiptoed to where they were coming from. I didn’t know momma had company, I mused. Peeking around the kitchen corner, I watched Momma and her gentleman friend take turns snorting the white powdery substance through a cutoff straw.
Four months later and three trips to the emergency room, I walked in on my dying grandmother taking her last breath. Momma gave birth to Natefa the next day. Four years later, I met Kavaugh, my high school sweetheart. At sixteen, Momma went to jail, forcing me to have to keep company with different men to take care of Natefa and myself. Momma stayed in and out of jail continually after that.
Copyright 2009 @ Ms Puddyn