Whatever happen to Old School Lovin'?

Hey Guys!!! This is from a Blog that I did last year! Please tell me is it me or do people want Old School Lovin?


Whatever happen to Old School Lovin'? courtship or even being friends first, before starting a romantic relationship? Do Men romance the Women that they are interested in or whom they are into? Is there such a thing as Yellow and Red Roses to a lady or a note expressing how much you are into her? Or even those silly love songs?

Most people that know me, know that I’m very old school, especially when it comes to music and dating. I believe somewhere between hearing the Isley Brothers telling us “You all I Need (Make Me Say It Again)”‚ and being romance ‚ “In Between The Sheets”‚ to hearing Queen Latifah rapping about, “Ladies First”‚ and Salt & Pepa calling “I’m Independent.” To now Plies calling women ‚”Shawty”‚ and "Bust It Babies"and Bow Wow talking about the‚ “Jump Off”. Have women forgotten how to be ‚Courted, and do Men know how to "Court" a Woman? or Are we okay being someone's "Shawty","Jump-off" or “Bust It Baby?"

Lets‚ first define Courtship, according to About.com: Dating (http://dating.about.com/od/glossarywordsc/g/courtship.htm ) Courtship is: "....Therefore, courtship is the mechanism used by two people to remove both the physical and emotional barriers needed to come together and be recognized as a loving couple."

The key words of this definition is: Remove Physical, Emotional Barriers to come together. As Men and Women of today I think we don’t know how to court someone or we have been so far removed from traditional values that we just toss courtship out the window, and want what’s coming to us now and instead of patiently waiting.
Now I’m not solely saying everyone that’s out here single and dating don’t court, If you are applause and cheers to you and continue to court that one you see may be the one for you. On the other hand when you hear the stories on how so many relationships end, it goes back to how the two people met and what happened after you all met that proceeded on to the relationship. Then when you get in these relationships you began to discover that Bobby was never the way Bobby that he is now when you first met him, and that Kim was a total different person back then before now. When you start discovering all of these revelations you have to ask yourself what happened and why I didn’t know this before?

The answer is simply, you all never knew each other in the beginning before the relationship even progress. That’s where the whole Courtship and friendship comes along. Think about it, when you look at some of our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents, and they‚I’ve been together for 20, 30, 40 years you gotta ask yourself how is this possible?

For example let’s take our grandparents, and great-grandparents, before a young girl was able to go out on a date with a boy, that boy had to meet her parents especially the girls father to even ask if she could go out with him with the approval of the girls‚ father the two were able to date, as long as he respects her, with that came tokens of likeness, flowers, candy a small gift that the boy gave to the girl to express how he really liked her.

There was no kissing, hugging, touching or even for that matter sex involved.
The point I’m trying to make is society has imbedded in our head that women can be independent and we can do everything on our own that some men not all have it imbedded in their brain that since women are so independent that she can take me out, she can call me first and court me, with all that being drilled in our head we can sometimes become confused on what our roles are and what we need to do to have a good healthy relationship that will sustain.

Which takes me to the friendship, anytime I meet a guy the ever so infamous question that is always asked is: What Is It That You‚ Are looking for? I always say “ A Friend.” Sometimes there response is like, “Yeah, you don’t say”‚ so I have to clarify when I say friend because Men and Women can get the “Friend” confused with friends with benefits (sex buddy) so when I say, friends as in ‚”Hey buddy, ol’ pal.”

I get this expression like Huh‚ almost like it’s unheard of, because believe it or not it sometime it is, unless one of the parties that’s partaking in this friendship is in a situation, sometime situation being (In a relationship but trying to get out). And even with those situations they can be sticky, but somewhat helpful if you‚ are trying to be a true friend to this person.

I believe when Men and Women become friends it makes the relationship stronger, it makes it stronger in a sense that if the two decide to take the relationship at the level of dating you kind of know what you both getting into, when Men and Women are friends sometimes that friendship open the doors to what the other person is experiencing as far as the relationship they are currently in or (the kind of men or women they are used to dating).

Also if this is a friend that you can come to as someone who you can lean on or a shoulder to cry on (without the other person taking advantage) this is also good because not only this person is a listener and will be there for you, you all are each other support system, just like two women being friends or two men, it’s no different with the opposite sex.

Even when you meet someone and it’s a person that you are very much interested of being with, instead of finding out what they can do for you (physically or monetarily) get to know who they are and their inner-being. So we must ask ourselves the following:

Are we capable of being romanced or knowing how to Romance a Lady?

Ladies, do you know what it means to be courted or romance?

Do we take intimacy as the first step towards developing a healthy romantic relationship?

When a relationship starts off strictly physical, does this guarantees it to become a serious relationship in the long haul? Or will it just be that you all will always remain sex buddies and nothing more?

Is it possible to become friends first, then date later?