Why is it seemingly o.k. for a woman to refrain from sex but a man doing the same is seen as strange or accused of not liking women?

I am a saved, educated, fun-loving, intelligent and well-traveled brother from D.C. who has decided not to sleep with another woman unless she is wearing my last name. I have been celibate for over 9 years now and find that I get very strange reactions from and even teased by other guys when they realize I am not having sex. I have even had women tell me that they couldn't date me because I wouldn't sleep with them. I am not trying to be "super Christian". I just love God and grew tired of breaking his heart by fornicating. I want my future wife to know that she is marrying a man who "waited" for her and that she will be gifting me with my first child. Is it such a bad or strange thing that now I want to wait until I get married or has society lost respect for those who really try to live what the Bible says?

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Permalink Reply by ladymadea on December 31, 2008 at 11:23am: Don't worry about what other people or society thinks. The Bible says be ye in the world and not of the world. You keep doing ehat you're doing for God, and he will bless you.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by sweetgeorgiapeach on February 6, 2009 at 8:54am: There are so many reasons these days for everyone to be suspicious of people's choices in their lives. They think, "Not having sex? He must gay, on the down-low or have some sort of disfuction. Maybe he doesn't know how be with a woman sexually. There must be something wrong like an STD or something."

Unlike air, food and water we can sustain a normal, healthy life without sex. And no, it is never easy. Therefore, it is not a bad thing to wait for the right person and make them your wife. Also, society's views has distorted the important lessons of the bible. To some It is just an outdated book that no longer applies to today's society.

But you have the best reason of all, GOD, to abstain from sex. I don't understand why that would be so strange for people to understand. I guess GOD has no room in their lives to influence the decisions that they make.

PS.
When you say, "gifting me with my first child" that is special ;0); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by sweetgeorgiapeach on February 6, 2009 at 8:56am: Nese, You are so right.

NESE said:
women look at you strangely because most of them still try and show love or how much they like you by giving themselves to you. marriage is not a factor in this.. sex is used as a reward or a token to show appreciation.. it's also used as a bargaining tool...

none of which is what it was designed for.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Chend818 on February 6, 2009 at 9:52am: It is the mindset of society. Just who are the women you are meeting? In other words whose are the women you are coming in contact with? I think it is great that you have chosen the path God has set for you. Remember this: this people who think you are strange are not the ones that will get you into heaven.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by diva diva diva on February 6, 2009 at 10:32am: Since you are connecting God to your sex organ now because you are young and strong. What's gonna happen when jimmy can't rise to the occasion anymore as you get older. Will you still love God? In case you haven't heard, women like men don't have to marry for sex anymore they as well can get the milk for free. You are no better than the man who uses sex to get women. If you start controlling the sex you will start controlling other areas of the relationship as to try to do other things to see if I love you. This sistah ain't going through hoops to prove anything. If I love ya, I love ya. Answer this for me. Why is it that people who are not having sex are always looking for people who are. One thing that I can admire about a freak they are honest, they tell you upfront they are looking for a freak and unless you are gonna hang from the chandilars and do a threesome keep moving. The reason why people stop having sex because they are tired of the rejection and wanna change their lives. So why is it a surprise that even though you are not having sex you are still being rejected. DUH!!!!!! It ain't the sex, it is you and people have a right to reject you if are not what they are looking for. That doesn't make them a bad person. What's gonna happen when you find out after all of this waiting to get married to have sex, then you get married and you still ain't getting none. See you are having mental sex anticipating what it is gonna be like in your mind. What is in it for her? Are you gonna take CARE of her. Can she quit her job if she chooses because the Bible says you are suppose to take care of her. I am like those women. I wanna know your credit report/where you work/family and all of that other stuff. Because I don't wanna pull back the sheets on my wedding night and be surprised. I wanna know what I am gonna be spending the rest of my life with every night with. It gets cold in the ATL and I do not plan for my house to be as cold inside.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lee on February 6, 2009 at 6:45pm: Who said anything about being rejected?.....I have no problem meeting quality women...I just want to meet the quality one for me......and no, I don't have bad credit........yes, I will take care of her.....and I am not connecting God with my organ...(Where did you get that one from?) Controlling the sex? The last time I checked abstinence pleases God. I am not trying to control a woman, besides, the woman I am blessed with will want to wait until marriage as well. I recommend you read a bible to see what it says about sex before marriage. I don't know why you felt the need to attack me sister but you have some hidden anger and hurt in you somewhere. We try to offer one another constructive criticism on this site. One of the brothers posted a poem entitled "Girls vs. Women" I think you would find it thought provoking and usefull.

diva diva diva said:
Since you are connecting God to your sex organ now because you are young and strong. What's gonna happen when jimmy can't rise to the occasion anymore as you get older. Will you still love God? In case you haven't heard, women like men don't have to marry for sex anymore they as well can get the milk for free. You are no better than the man who uses sex to get women. If you start controlling the sex you will start controlling other areas of the relationship as to try to do other things to see if I love you. This sistah ain't going through hoops to prove anything. If I love ya, I love ya. Answer this for me. Why is it that people who are not having sex are always looking for people who are. One thing that I can admire about a freak they are honest, they tell you upfront they are looking for a freak and unless you are gonna hang from the chandilars and do a threesome keep moving. The reason why people stop having sex because they are tired of the rejection and wanna change their lives. So why is it a surprise that even though you are not having sex you are still being rejected. DUH!!!!!! It ain't the sex, it is you and people have a right to reject you if are not what they are looking for. That doesn't make them a bad person. What's gonna happen when you find out after all of this waiting to get married to have sex, then you get married and you still ain't getting none. See you are having mental sex anticipating what it is gonna be like in your mind. What is in it for her? Are you gonna take CARE of her. Can she quit her job if she chooses because the Bible says you are suppose to take care of her. I am like those women. I wanna know your credit report/where you work/family and all of that other stuff. Because I don't wanna pull back the sheets on my wedding night and be surprised. I wanna know what I am gonna be spending the rest of my life with every night with. It gets cold in the ATL and I do not plan for my house to be as cold inside.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by veneitta on February 6, 2009 at 10:13pm: I must say that you are an inspiration. You do you. Never care what other's think of you.. I am a celibate woman myself, who is waiting for the right man. How you decide to live your life is between you and "God." Perhaps, you'll open many other men and women's eyes. Best wishes to you.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Najat on February 10, 2009 at 2:09am: Hi Lee, Maybe beacuse its not men's nature to have that big control on them selves now a days!!! anyway, she is wroth waiting and she will for sure respect you for that.

Wish you good day,

Najat; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Donna -Be Blessed on February 10, 2009 at 6:36pm: Amen Lee! you can't worry about other people's opinion you have do what is best for you and what pleases God and no one else keep strong and always do what is pleasing to God First I don't have to say anything else you are a deep brother on the right path.

cite>Lee said:
Thank You. That was very encouraging and you are correct. I don't care how others criticize . I only care that they see what the power of God can do for a man's life. Be blessed.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by chzz on February 10, 2009 at 8:50pm: You have the right idea.Your body is God's temple and it should be honored.
If you want to be celibate before marriage ,that is a beautiful choice.
However if persons choose to have a relationship without marriage that is also acceptable as long as they are faithful and moral.Remember God did not ordain marriage-it is a man-made, social institution.He created woman to be with man but marriage was not specified.
Finally,if persons make a life-long choice to be celibate,that does not make them strange either.It's not that hard.
It's all about respecting the individual's choice.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by diva diva diva on February 11, 2009 at 10:00am: Wow can't a sister take a day off work. Since I am being discussed here goes. LisaCJ the reason I responded to you because you were using a Don King made up word such as PRAYERFULLY just to pick out a dress. Give me a break.I can imagine what kind of words you were using over dinner. So if you and your date didn't click that was a good thing. I know that he just as happy as you are to get away from each other. Last I check you can please God more than one way than just not having sex. You have been on the board on another occasion talking bout talking proper and stuff as if you were looking down on those who haven't been where you been. Isn't that bragging/boasting/vain and being concetited because some some people may not have been where you have been in life. Isn't that breaking his heart. Isn't it breaking his heart when you see/hear something you know that is not correct and you sit back and do nothing. God says if you see something you know that is wrong and you sit back and do nothing you are just as guilty. Are you overweight. Gluttony is a sin. Are you selfish. That is a sin. I can go on and on.That is why I said if you are basing your sprituality on your sex organ you are missing the boat and you might as well drop your draws now. Being in the military and going to Germany doesn't make one well traveled. I still say why are people who are celibate make it an issue and who cares. Like they are going for the I have been more celibate than you trophy. I still say that I am gonna get mine's because I don't go to all of that trouble to wait to get married to get it, pull the covers back and it look likes I need to call the CDC. You better ask somebody.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Marion Campbell on February 11, 2009 at 10:37am: There is a God! I am so happy that you have decided on a life of celibacy. It shows how much you honor God's way and how much you love yourself that you no longer wants to settle for less. I myself have been celibate now for over ten years, and I love myself enough to wait for god's best. Why not enjoy the life of intimacy the way God created it to be.

Keep Holding On!; ▶ Reply to This