What do you think about women raising children with different men in and out of their home?

Parent’s if children are involved under the age eighteen they are first. “No excuse”, I am a single mother one daughter. Every other weekend she went to her Grandparents home, I dated when my child was not at home. My job as a parent love, raise provide confidence by example she could succeed in any career she desired. I did not introduce my child to any man my dating time when my child was out of my home. To re-capture respect we must keep our children from being a part of “man in man out transition”.

My daughter graduated from University of Maryland with honors, now employed as an educator. Please be careful who you aloud access to your children's heart, home. Parents can move on if a relationship does not work, but children sometime do not. Always be prayerful who you attach yourself too! Children do not choose us as parents we are responsible.

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Permalink Reply by Deb on December 11, 2008 at 3:29pm: I must agree with you. I prayed and asked God to help me with my girls after the separation and divorce of their father. They did not ask to come here and I did not want to treat them like they were the blame. I have 4 grown daughters, (includes twins) and during the time of my separation from their father I focused my attention on their needs. I communicated with them often letting them know that this situation was not their fault, reassuring them that no other man will take or can take the place of their father. I let them know that they must still respect him, and I avoided saying negative things about their father around them. For 3 1/2 years I did not date at all. I took my girls to the movies, museums, sightseeing, etc. This time was very rewarding. My girls never met any man that I dated. They were girls and I would never trusts a stranger in their company. I practiced what I preached. Now even though they are grown I still explain to them about respecting their home. If a man want to spend the night then he must take you to his place or a motel. Staying positive in a negative situation, while communicating with your children is very rewarding.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by KC on December 11, 2008 at 4:11pm: That's a very responsible way of raising your daughter, that's how I would've handle it if I were a single parent. Your children see and hear everything and that matters to me.

KC; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jae on December 12, 2008 at 8:17am: I'm guilty and ashamed. I have 2 daughters and yes they have seen me date. I have exposed them to the ups & downs of relationships. I regret it and I'm ashamed. I promised not to ever bring another man around again. This is so true and nothing new. We as single women have to decide what's most important, us or them. The realization of being a mother is putting self last.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Andrea on December 12, 2008 at 9:19am: I think it is wrong for women to keep bringing men into there home with children. It sends the message that this is okay and also she is not respecting herself, the home, or the children. Not to mention that young children can get confused by this behavior. There is nothing wrong with women dating but why is there the need to bring the relationship home if you are not serious, if you are serious and committed (both of you) then you can wait until about a year into the relationship so that you can see if this is what the both of you really want and also prepare the children.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jae on December 12, 2008 at 10:16am: Thanks Redd.
Sexyy Redd said:
Jae, its all good, it would be worse if you hadn't recognized your mistakes and fixed them. But you know what you did wrong and you have fixed it (or working on fixing it) but please dont be ashamed, we are sistahs here girl, and as long as you know what you did wrong, and like I said before, you doing something about it.

Jae said:
I'm guilty and ashamed. I have 2 daughters and yes they have seen me date. I have exposed them to the ups & downs of relationships. I regret it and I'm ashamed. I promised not to ever bring another man around again. This is so true and nothing new. We as single women have to decide what's most important, us or them. The realization of being a mother is putting self last.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jae on December 12, 2008 at 10:17am: This is what I have decided to do.

Andrea said:
I think it is wrong for women to keep bringing men into there home with children. It sends the message that this is okay and also she is not respecting herself, the home, or the children. Not to mention that young children can get confused by this behavior. There is nothing wrong with women dating but why is there the need to bring the relationship home if you are not serious, if you are serious and committed (both of you) then you can wait until about a year into the relationship so that you can see if this is what the both of you really want and also prepare the children.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by page on December 12, 2008 at 10:35am: i agree with( lakeyshia....) kids get there feelings hurt too.. but still date and if the relationship is going somewhere then introduce the kids to your mate... but kids are not dump! they know if moma have a new fling in her life...lol and Jae, your not the first or the last to do that... its ok girl!! i just want everyone to find love and be happppy....; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sasha Harris on December 12, 2008 at 11:08am: View1911, I totally feel you on this. I have 3 girlfriends that I have been best friends with since middle school. When I shared my view with them on this topic they looked at me like my head had just spun around. There is no reason and, in my opinion, no excuse why a child should be around any man that we are not dating seriously and have been dating seriously for at least 6 months if not longer.
Funny, when my wasband and I decided to separate and divorce a little over a year ago, it was actually his idea that we not take our daughter around the opposite sex unless we had been dating him/her seriously for 6 months. Even after 6 months we had to introduce, or at the very least, make the other parent aware that we were planning on making an introduction between our child and our significant other. Needless to say, my wasband broke his own agreement within the first month but a year later, I have kept my promise not only for the sake of my integrity but also because my child's well-being is the center of my life. A man will know just how important he is to me if he has the pleasure to meet my daughter and I make that clear in the very beginning.
Sometimes we, as parents, do not understand the damage we do to our children just by bringing unhealthy people into their lives and this unhealthy person can be anybody including a family member. Life is hard enough as it is for our children today; let's not make it worse by bringing unhealthy and eventually damaging people in our children's lives just because mommy didn't find the time to do her research.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by diva diva diva on December 12, 2008 at 11:22am: When my kids were young I dated my butt off and my babies went to college doing quite well anf they will let you know that t hey got a lotta love from this mother. Our kids expecially our daughters need to see man coming to the door and RINGING the bell taking mommy out to dinner instead of sitting in the car blowing his horn for you. They need to know sometimes dinner is just dinner no more no less. How are our kids to know that mommy all of a sudden has a man and he never came to the house. If your child started meeting boys on the corner and never bought them to the house don't get mad because that is the example you set and that is one of the reasons why kids don;t know how to take someone on a date. Kids also needs to know that if you are with someone you love you will have problems and breakup. That is a fact of life. That is why a lot of kids are sooo attached to one person and act as if me and this person is gonna be together for life and when they breakup they go nuts. They get toooo serious so soon. I have seen too many women who don't date when the kids are young and when the children get grown they are trying to date again for the first time in years. They look/act like a deer caught in headlights because they don't know what to do. They don't know how to dress/act with a man because they close their life off and thinks I am gonna get out there again after 18/20 years and get it right. My girls tell me all of the time "THANKS for having a life and showing us how to do it.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jae on December 12, 2008 at 11:31am: Hey there Vickie. Great point.

vickie m. warren said:
When my kids were young I dated my butt off and my babies went to college doing quite well anf they will let you know that t hey got a lotta love from this mother. Our kids expecially our daughters need to see man coming to the door and RINGING the bell taking mommy out to dinner instead of sitting in the car blowing his horn for you. They need to know sometimes dinner is just dinner no more no less. How are our kids to know that mommy all of a sudden has a man and he never came to the house. If your child started meeting boys on the corner and never bought them to the house don't get mad because that is the example you set and that is one of the reasons why kids don;t know how to take someone on a date. Kids also needs to know that if you are with someone you love you will have problems and breakup. That is a fact of life. That is why a lot of kids are sooo attached to one person and act as if me and this person is gonna be together for life and when they breakup they go nuts. They get toooo serious so soon. I have seen too many women who don't date when the kids are young and when the children get grown they are trying to date again for the first time in years. They look/act like a deer caught in headlights because they don't know what to do. They don't know how to dress/act with a man because they close their life off and thinks I am gonna get out there again after 18/20 years and get it right. My girls tell me all of the time "THANKS for having a life and showing us how to do it.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Ms. April on December 12, 2008 at 11:39am: I feel this is a very bad idea . There are some perverts out there and these days people just can't be trusted . Lots of young girls get molested or behave out of character.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by diva diva diva on December 12, 2008 at 11:51am: A lot of girls are molested by their OWN fathers/brothers/grandfathers/aunts and cousins. What about that girl in Australia where her father kept her in the basement for years and had several kids by her. The man that you MARRY will molest your child just as well as a man you are DATING. Just because you are married doesn't mean that you are safe from anything happening to you or your kids. The man that you date will be in a home for a couple of hours. The man that you marry will be in your home for life. Think about it. Now who has the greatest opportunity to molest your child.; ▶ Reply to This