Trying to School someone... But she's in denial..

To the women but men can chime in. I know someone who met some dude at a singles ministry. For the past several months they've had lunch & dinner dates. Dude's been to her house to bring food over & read the word etc..

I'm like just because you go to a singles ministry doesn't mean you're not going to meet someone you like or likes you!
Going out to dinner and all that, of course feelings are going to come into play at some point!

Naw, it ain't like that, he's not like that, that's not his personality. We just happen to enjoy the word together and are just friends. Really so you know what's dudes thinking hugh?! Whatever..

Thoughts....

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Permalink Reply by Hannah Drake on November 23, 2009 at 4:04am: They probably like one another. For some reason in my mind I always thought a singles ministry did provide an alternative for Christian men and women to meet. Its human nature and they have started out on a good way, casual dinner and reading the Word. They may end up married.

I do agree she is probably fooling herself about what is really happening and I am curious why. Just like him and be done with it if she wants to. Just because you love the Lord does not mean you can't be attracted to the opposite sex. :); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lee on November 23, 2009 at 7:27am: She sounds naive. Why is she going through the motions of entertaining him if she wants to be just friends. She should state that she only wants to be platonic with him. Some women send mixed messages and don't even realize it. If he is paying for dinner every time they go out she may be using him a little. This reminds me of the forum I once posted "Why does she continue to allow him to woo, if with him she wants noting to do?"

I was in a situation similar to this with a woman who would cook for me, invite me to events and once pulled out some pictures that caught me off guard...they were pictures of her posing nude with a guitar covering up her "secrets". I was thinking at the time "no woman spends this kind of time with a guy she only wants to be friends with" but I later learned she just wanted to be friends. In my mind, I was like "so why all the flirting?". I have come to realize that sometimes a woman enjoys a mans company because he fills a void she has to be with someone although that someone isn't necessarily him.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lee on November 23, 2009 at 7:30am: "Just because you love the Lord does not mean you can't be attracted to the opposite sex. :)"....I agree Hannah. Besides HE created those "attractions" in the first place so why do people think its so strange for men and women in the church to be attracted to one another? God created the magnetism that draws women and men towards one another. The whole man-woman, flirting, interacting, wooing thing was his idea and creation in the first place.
Hannah Drake said:
They probably like one another. For some reason in my mind I always thought a singles ministry did provide an alternative for Christian men and women to meet. Its human nature and they have started out on a good way, casual dinner and reading the Word. They may end up married.
I do agree she is probably fooling herself about what is really happening and I am curious why. Just like him and be done with it if she wants to. Just because you love the Lord does not mean you can't be attracted to the opposite sex. :); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Marie on November 23, 2009 at 8:08am: Carlos does she find him attractive in that way? Just pray that he is a good fellow and won't push himself onto her and can respect if she doesn't accept his advances if/when he decides to move the friendship to a high level.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lowanda Lee on November 23, 2009 at 8:44am: I believe that people can put on acts...I don't care where you meet them, they want to get their foot in the door and then they true colors come out..A man will be a man, and we all have feelings..I believe only time will tell the ending of this situation...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Carlos A on November 23, 2009 at 10:04am: Yes very naive. Her thing is because he's in the church that it's not all about that. We have things in common & enjoy reading the word that's all. Really.. Well that's how it starts!

How do you think these deacons get evolved with women in the church?! You'll see for yourself in due time.

I told her you're friendly and people take that to mean something else. You spending time with dude going out, him coming over, of course he's going to catch feelings.

Forgot to add, she said dude came by the house because he didn't see her in church. WTH...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by KC on November 26, 2009 at 12:22am: You can only do your part and put it out there, it is there place and common sense to accept or reject what was just revealed to them. Either way it is a learning experience for them.

KC; ▶ Reply to This