Simple question...do you speak to people first...or wait to be spoken to?...
Hey Fam! Hope you had a great holiday weekend! I have some friends that just moved up here to the DC area from the south. We were discussing how different it is than living in the South. Funny...because none of them know each other but the first thing they always tell me is..."how come y'all don't like to speak to people". My first thought was..."well I speak to people all the time." Then I was like I also give lots of hugs to strangers but that's just how I was raised. But then I thought I would test it out on the subway and on my job...yup they may have a point...I didn't get a lot of "good mornings" unless I initiated it myself...and some people thought I was crazy for doing so! LOL!!
So fam I thought I would throw it out to you...how often do you speak to people that pass you by....or do you wait for people to speak to you first...and why?
So fam I thought I would throw it out to you...how often do you speak to people that pass you by....or do you wait for people to speak to you first...and why?
Tags: douspeak2people
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by pinkngreendiva on -
OMG!!...you know what...you have a point because I was in Filene's Basement the other day...*sidenote* that's my favorite store!...and I was trying to find some cute flats cuz' my toes be hurting walking all day from one end of my building to the other...so I see this woman standing in one of the aisles and I smiled at her and said excuse me to her as I was trying to reach for a pair of shoes...she gave me an evil look as she called for her husband/boyfriend/friend or whateva...I was like sistah...you know don't nobody want him like that! I didn't even know what the guy looked like!!!
*sigh*...guess you can't even be nice to people nomore....
LCJ said:For me, it really depends on who the person (or people) is b/c frankly, there are certain people I just don't want to be bothered with. I'm not hard to get along with, and I strive to treat others in the way that I want to be treated, aka "The Golden Rule" of do unto others... However, I got tired of "going out of my way" to be polite to others and not get it in return. Overall, I do speak to people as I pass by, being polite. If they reciprocate or speak back, fine. If not, then he/she's just ONE LESS person I have to deal with.
I did experience something interesting though, please feel free to share your thoughts:
A few weeks ago, I attended a Margarita Cruise on the Potomac and arrived to DC about 2 hrs early. I was hungry and decided to go to McDonald's try that Mushroom & Swiss Angus Burger...that sandwich was off the chain!!! (LOL) Anyhoo, I decided to eat in and just chillax until it was time for me to leave. I ordered & paid for my meal, and sat way to the back. In passing I saw a family and said hello to all of them, the man, woman, and the little girl. When I sat down, the woman stared at me for a long time, with this "don't you even try it" look on her face. I was like, "oh well, whatever" and thought, "Now what makes her think she has something that I want?" I called my sister and chatted with her for a while and she laughed at me and said, "Girl, you know men notice you every where you go, and women do to. That's why she stared at you that way." My response to was, "Nope, don't want em!"
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Permalink Reply by mrsjones32000 on -
Hannah, I'm on the fence but humor me with this scenario:
A friend has invited you to a barbecue/cook out (whatever yall call it in your town...Lol). The party is taking place in the backyard but to get to the backyard, you have to come through the house. You arrive at the house, ring the bell, she answers the door and says, Hey Girl, come on in. Everybody's in the back, go ahead on out there and make yourself at home. You proceed through the house, through the kitchen door, and out to the backyard. Do you say, Hey Everybody, how yall doing? or do you wait for them to say, Hey Hannah!! With the coming home and wanting hubby to speak first, I'm more leaning towards your side but with the above scenario that I've posed, I think it's more proper that we should speak first when going into the backyard. I don't really know what's the difference, maybe husband vs. friends/strangers has something to do with it. Actually, now that I've given it some real thought, when my husband comes home if I'm downstairs and I see him pull into the drieway, I actually meet him at the door but that's because he only comes home on Fridays most of the time and after not seeing him all week I'm kinda missing him. You know what? I've made up my mind. I think your husband should speak first. Lol. Sorry for taking you on that merry go round. Lol.
Hannah Drake said:I am glad you mentioned this....my husband and I have this debate...
He is home when I come home from work...I feel if I am walking in the door he should say hello first. Hell I am the one that is just getting home. He feels like I should speak frist. I know it is rather stupid but I just got home, I worked a hard damn day, the least you can say is welcome home honey. Why do I have to seek out how your day is going first? I'm the one just getting home. We have had serious debates about this. And he says that is because I don't have manners. Have manners? If he came home AFTER me I would say hey baby, how was work...School me on the protocol here, please! (I am talking about just opening the door and I can see him and he can see me from where he is sitting on the couch. Not like he is in the house doing something and then I don't speak. Also I don't really care but since it is a big deal for him and he says I don't have manners we have this ongoing debate about it.)
As for speaking in general, I always speak to people. I thought that was the Black persons code or something. LOL!
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Permalink Reply by Hannah Drake on -
LOL @ Mrs. Jones. Girl I hear you. I would greet my husband at the door if he got home after me. Knowing me I am going to greet him and have some dinner. He wants me to come home from working and do a backward round off, forward tuck with a cheer, in between crumpin', because he's is home on the couch when I get home. LOL!
I think he should be delighted I am home and when I come in the door GREET ME! And he doesn't have to do cartwheels, all he has to say is hey baby.
I mean damn I just got home. Make it SEEM half way inviting. Make me feel I was missed a little. But nooooooooo he just sits there staring at me like I got the wrong address waiting on me to speak. LMAO!!
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Permalink Reply by AQUEEN2B on -
Interesting debate Hannah! I guess my husband and I kind of meet halfway. Whoever is home already gets up or stops whatever they are doing to go over and hug the other and we talk about the day and then go on with the evening. I never thought about who should say hello first the person already there of the one coming in. Maybe you and your hubby can met each other halfway ;)
Hannah Drake said:I am glad you mentioned this....my husband and I have this debate...
He is home when I come home from work...I feel if I am walking in the door he should say hello first. Hell I am the one that is just getting home. He feels like I should speak frist. I know it is rather stupid but I just got home, I worked a hard damn day, the least you can say is welcome home honey. Why do I have to seek out how your day is going first? I'm the one just getting home. We have had serious debates about this. And he says that is because I don't have manners. Have manners? If he came home AFTER me I would say hey baby, how was work...School me on the protocol here, please! (I am talking about just opening the door and I can see him and he can see me from where he is sitting on the couch. Not like he is in the house doing something and then I don't speak. Also I don't really care but since it is a big deal for him and he says I don't have manners we have this ongoing debate about it.)
As for speaking in general, I always speak to people. I thought that was the Black persons code or something. LOL!
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Permalink Reply by mrsjones32000 on
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LOL
Hannah Drake said:LOL @ Mrs. Jones. Girl I hear you. I would greet my husband at the door if he got home after me. Knowing me I am going to greet him and have some dinner. He wants me to come home from working and do a backward round off, forward tuck with a cheer, in between crumpin', because he's is home on the couch when I get home. LOL!
I think he should be delighted I am home and when I come in the door GREET ME! And he doesn't have to do cartwheels, all he has to say is hey baby.
I mean damn I just got home. Make it SEEM half way inviting. Make me feel I was missed a little. But nooooooooo he just sits there staring at me like I got the wrong address waiting on me to speak. LMAO!!
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Permalink Reply by Marie on -
I often speak first, especially if it an elderly person. Sometimes I will smile at someone that is more around my age, because some people are just evil all the time. Some people show they are unapproachable by their facial expressions. During college I had a roommate from New York -Jamacia Queens...and nobody I introduced her too like her at first it took a while for them to come around...lol She was a true New Yorker accent and all....lol
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Permalink Reply by ShawnQT on -
Hi pinkngreendiva,
I'm from the South as well and I speak first to everyone. And when someone introduce me to someone (family,friends) I met for the first time, we hug. That make people feel welcome and at home.
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Permalink Reply by LCJ on -
I'm from the South too ("S Cakkie Lackie" aka South Carolina), and it's in me to hug someone I've been introduced to.
ShawnQT said:Hi pinkngreendiva,
I'm from the South as well and I speak first to everyone. And when someone introduce me to someone (family,friends) I met for the first time, we hug. That make people feel welcome and at home.
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Permalink Reply by Cherry Scott-Jones on -
We all need to start speaking to one another as soon as possible to stop this unnecessary mental power struggle. It keeps us separte and at odds.
How to Understand A Black Woman
http://www.ehow.com/how_5252407_understand-black-woman.html
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Permalink Reply by K.Cheri on -
Ooooo this depends. Overall iam a friendly person, but I do not always speak first. That has a lot to do with the community I live in. I always speak to ppl on the job, church, neighborhood, cashiers/customer service reps first without hesitation regardless of the individual, but out on the street, that's not likely.
Ciao
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Permalink Reply by Pretty AnntoiNet's on -
OHh my goodness, this is one of my pet peeves. I have a job where I'm in the room and
people have to come in usually BEHIND me and pick up their papers. I don't even understand the mentality of the people that don't say good morning or something.
I don't smile or speak to everyone I pass on the street (that could get me in trouble :)
But, in most cases I think its polite for the enterer to say hi first.
Hannah I think I understand where your coming from, but when my husband comes home and I'm in the basement He needs to announce himself so I don't get scared when
I here his footsteps :0
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