On The Rebound
Ever been the rebound person? Had a rebound person? Here are some signs of one:
If one of you rushed into the relationship before coming to terms with a break-up then the signs will soon start to show. Rebounds can often start off as whirlwind-type romances, where offers of moving in together can happen after a few days and sometimes marriage proposals are made within a few short weeks.
Denise Knowles from Relate says: "There are all sorts of signs. Sometimes they go out of their way to have a really good time and appear extrovert, it's a way of drawing attention to themselves to get a new partner, when they really feel like moping on their own in a corner."
"Other people can be incredibly needy, wanting to be in touch all the time," she continues. "They need to feel attached, rather than feel the pain of the previous relationship. A few others may have plenty of bitterness, making comments such as 'all men are bastards', or 'women are bitches', but then saying to their new partner 'but of course, you're different.'"
Someone who is carrying a lot of unresolved stuff around with them often chooses a 'safe person' as their new lover. They have opted for a man or woman who will not hurt them as their last boyfriend or girlfriend did. For example, if they are especially afraid of unfaithfulness, they'll pick someone who is strongly monogamous, or maybe unattractive and dowdy. They might also subconsciously pick a person who seems 'easy to leave'.
Share your thoughts...
If one of you rushed into the relationship before coming to terms with a break-up then the signs will soon start to show. Rebounds can often start off as whirlwind-type romances, where offers of moving in together can happen after a few days and sometimes marriage proposals are made within a few short weeks.
Denise Knowles from Relate says: "There are all sorts of signs. Sometimes they go out of their way to have a really good time and appear extrovert, it's a way of drawing attention to themselves to get a new partner, when they really feel like moping on their own in a corner."
"Other people can be incredibly needy, wanting to be in touch all the time," she continues. "They need to feel attached, rather than feel the pain of the previous relationship. A few others may have plenty of bitterness, making comments such as 'all men are bastards', or 'women are bitches', but then saying to their new partner 'but of course, you're different.'"
Someone who is carrying a lot of unresolved stuff around with them often chooses a 'safe person' as their new lover. They have opted for a man or woman who will not hurt them as their last boyfriend or girlfriend did. For example, if they are especially afraid of unfaithfulness, they'll pick someone who is strongly monogamous, or maybe unattractive and dowdy. They might also subconsciously pick a person who seems 'easy to leave'.
Share your thoughts...
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by LCJ on -
Been there, done that, will NEVER do it again!!! Rebound relationships are so toxic b/c it doesn't allow you to heal, grow, and move past the previous relationship.
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Permalink Reply by The Essence of Beauty on -
I've had a rebound relationship...was reluctant to enter it but was pressured by him and my friends...but once I saw things for what they really were it was super easy for me to drop his ass like a crackhead does weight and to this day he still begs and pleads for another chance which is something he'll never get!
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Permalink Reply by KC on -
I don't believe I've done this, any relationship I've had I wanted to be in it wholeheartedly. If it didn't last it was because we had differences that's all. I don't believe this has been done to me.
KC
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Permalink Reply by Tonya on -
I haven't done this, either. When I'm done, I'm so done that you can stick a fork in me. I know how to be comfortably single, and after a bad breakup, I just like to focus on me.
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Permalink Reply by LCJ on
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Reply by Tonya 1 hour ago
I haven't done this, either. When I'm done, I'm so done that you can stick a fork in me. I know how to be comfortably single, and after a bad breakup, I just like to focus on me.
Tonya, girl I feel you on this one. It's has taken me years to get to this point..I, too, know how to be comfortably single ...I am FOCUSED on yours truly.
FOCUS - Follow On Course Until Successful
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Permalink Reply by Tonya on
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LCJ - I like that definition for FOCUS, I'mma steal that!!!
(running away)
LOL
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Permalink Reply by AC on -
Rebounds only hurt if you hold on to the ball too long. Get in, get out and keep it moving.
It is like on the ball court somebody gets a rebound and stead of pshing to score the ball, they dribble around and lose momentum.
So don't catch any feelings!!
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