Career woman or Housewife?

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Permalink Reply by KC on July 21, 2009 at 10:50am

I'll stay home and take care of my husband, house and babies!! No problem for me.

KC

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Permalink Reply by Oneproudbajan on July 21, 2009 at 3:57pm

I was a career woman until downsizing forced me to become a housewife.

The benefits of being a career woman - a measure of financial independence, intellectual and social stimulation through interaction with colleagues, a sense of sccomplishment are all wonderful. But those things came at the expense of my health, my marriage and my children.

I wish I could say that I LOVE my current role as a housewife, but I'd be lying! I hate being financial dependent on my husband and I hate the feeling that I am not making enough of a contribution to our finances. However, being a housewife has given me unparalleled flexibility to respond to my family's needs. For example, my youngest has ADHD which has presented many academic challenges. Because I've been a stay-at-home mom, I have been able to help with school work, get her to the tutors etc, facilitate her participation in sports and art, where she excels and gets a much needed ego-boost. It would be nice to have the extra money in the bank account, but I am grateful for the privelege of being there for here for my children! In my days of 80+ hour work weeks (and that doesn't include the work I used to bring home!), I would never have been able to it.

My husband is very supportive, but I have to admit that I am extremely vulnerable. He could fall ill, kick me to the curb or drop dead and I'd be up Sh*t Creek without a paddle!

I have some income coming in from little jobs I do, but it's not even close to being self-supporting!

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Permalink Reply by pinkngreendiva on July 21, 2009 at 5:04pm

wow...I never thought about it like that but you make some good points...still..some of this goes back to trust issues...not saying its wrong or right...actually my girlfriend became a housewife unintentionally..she got pregnant and had to take maternity leave...well little did she know because her job gave her a permanent leave (some jobs fire you if you get pregnant)...she too wanted to stay financially independent...but things did not work out that way...

Oneproudbajan said:

I was a career woman until downsizing forced me to become a housewife.

The benefits of being a career woman - a measure of financial independence, intellectual and social stimulation through interaction with colleagues, a sense of sccomplishment are all wonderful. But those things came at the expense of my health, my marriage and my children.

I wish I could say that I LOVE my current role as a housewife, but I'd be lying! I hate being financial dependent on my husband and I hate the feeling that I am not making enough of a contribution to our finances. However, being a housewife has given me unparalleled flexibility to respond to my family's needs. For example, my youngest has ADHD which has presented many academic challenges. Because I've been a stay-at-home mom, I have been able to help with school work, get her to the tutors etc, facilitate her participation in sports and art, where she excels and gets a much needed ego-boost. It would be nice to have the extra money in the bank account, but I am grateful for the privelege of being there for here for my children! In my days of 80+ hour work weeks (and that doesn't include the work I used to bring home!), I would never have been able to it.

My husband is very supportive, but I have to admit that I am extremely vulnerable. He could fall ill, kick me to the curb or drop dead and I'd be up Sh*t Creek without a paddle!

I have some income coming in from little jobs I do, but it's not even close to being self-supporting!

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Permalink Reply by Sherri Y on July 22, 2009 at 10:52am

Interesting topic...

I worked during my first marriage because my overspending husband couldn't pay the bills without my income. My second husband though, thought it was important that the kids felt a sense of stability since we moved a lot, so I gave up my career and stayed at home.

It was NOT an easy transition. Like many of the other posters mentioned, there are feelings of inadequacy from not contributing financially, not being connected to the working world, having to make sacrifices...and also in NOT having been trained to be domestic divas. In fact, I balked many times, returning to work from time to time just to give myself an excuse to shop for clothes, as well as prove to myself that I could do more than chores and errands. I also started volunteering. I found that to be a worthy substitute for the workplace and it made me feel like I was contributing something important as well.

Amazingly, I never felt threatened by the idea that my husband could leave me. I suppose I always figured he could do that anyway, whether I was working or not. Plus, he always kept me abreast of all financial matters.

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Permalink Reply by Princess101uk on July 22, 2009 at 12:51pm

You're lucky that you have one of those good hubby's that you know keeps you informed and you could trust. How many of those are around now-a-days???

Sherri Y said:

Interesting topic...

I worked during my first marriage because my overspending husband couldn't pay the bills without my income. My second husband though, thought it was important that the kids felt a sense of stability since we moved a lot, so I gave up my career and stayed at home.

It was NOT an easy transition. Like many of the other posters mentioned, there are feelings of inadequacy from not contributing financially, not being connected to the working world, having to make sacrifices...and also in NOT having been trained to be domestic divas. In fact, I balked many times, returning to work from time to time just to give myself an excuse to shop for clothes, as well as prove to myself that I could do more than chores and errands. I also started volunteering. I found that to be a worthy substitute for the workplace and it made me feel like I was contributing something important as well.

Amazingly, I never felt threatened by the idea that my husband could leave me. I suppose I always figured he could do that anyway, whether I was working or not. Plus, he always kept me abreast of all financial matters.

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Permalink Reply by Sherri Y on July 22, 2009 at 1:21pm

I have no doubt that I'm lucky (and blessed), but on the other hand Princess, trust is one of the things that goes hand in hand with marriage. I wouldn't have married him if I didn't trust him. Meanwhile, trusting him doesn't mean taking his word for EVERYTHING. Not because I doubt him, but because God gave me a brain and the ability to check facts for myself. In fact, my husband encourages me to check for myself. We're partners after all. He respects my smarts and values my opinion as much as I do his.

Princess101uk said:

You're lucky that you have one of those good hubby's that you know keeps you informed and you could trust. How many of those are around now-a-days???

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Permalink Reply by Frantrele on July 22, 2009 at 3:12pm

I would be both! I would work for a while and when we are ready to have children, I would stop working after the first. It is good to be a career oriented woman, but there is nothing like rearing your own children. Daycare is definitely not an option for me. I would be a mother and wife first. But! If my husband doesn't make enough for me to be a housewife, I will gladly continue to work, but my children will have a nanny at home when I have to work.

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Permalink Reply by pinkngreendiva on July 22, 2009 at 5:26pm

That's so true Sherri. I think trust is one of the most overlooked things in a relationship. It's funny too because we trust our mate to share our bodies but not our finances...things that make ya go hmmm!!!

Sherri Y said:

I have no doubt that I'm lucky (and blessed), but on the other hand Princess, trust is one of the things that goes hand in hand with marriage. I wouldn't have married him if I didn't trust him. Meanwhile, trusting him doesn't mean taking his word for EVERYTHING. Not because I doubt him, but because God gave me a brain and the ability to check facts for myself. In fact, my husband encourages me to check for myself. We're partners after all. He respects my smarts and values my opinion as much as I do his.

Princess101uk said:

You're lucky that you have one of those good hubby's that you know keeps you informed and you could trust. How many of those are around now-a-days???

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