A Bust on Valentines Day...

My boyfriend has stated that he doesn't give on Valentines Day because he feels that a person should be appreciated not just on that day but when needed. Ok, I am for it. But we just started seeing each other a few months prior, and I have expressed that I would like to know that I am appreciated by my man on this day. He said he went through that with his exes(he had two)and that they broke him out of that. Seems to me he is comparing me with me. Any opinions?

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Permalink Reply by Melissmo on January 30, 2009 at 2:39pm: Well, I do agree, appreciation is a daily thing, not just on Valentine's Day. Does he show appreciation on other days? I don't necessarily mean if he purchases presents etc. Just you know, the cool stuff, spends time, does special things for/with you - you know, if indeed, he shows his appreciation for you outside of Valentine's Day, then don't sweat it, he cares about you. We get wayyyyyyy to caught up with this commercialized event.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking you, but yes, we do make toooooo much out of it.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Nandi on January 30, 2009 at 3:00pm: I like your style Melissmo I do; I believe he appreciates me. He has had my back when I needed him. He spends time with me and all but he feels all this stuff is too commercialized. and he feels his exes broke him in on that so that is that.

Melissmo said:
Well, I do agree, appreciation is a daily thing, not just on Valentine's Day. Does he show appreciation on other days? I don't necessarily mean if he purchases presents etc. Just you know, the cool stuff, spends time, does special things for/with you - you know, if indeed, he shows his appreciation for you outside of Valentine's Day, then don't sweat it, he cares about you. We get wayyyyyyy to caught up with this commercialized event.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking you, but yes, we do make toooooo much out of it.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by yana on January 30, 2009 at 4:15pm: People annoy me trying to go out of there way to not celebrate v-day. The whole "love the person you are with every day" line is old. If I happen to like v-day and I want to celebrate my love on that day in an extra special way I don't see what's so wrong with it. You love your mother every day yet we have a special day for that. I'm black every day, but we have a special month for that too.

I would be annoyed with him for comparing me to them too. He's with you now, so break him back IN to it!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by LUCKY on January 30, 2009 at 4:46pm: Rule #5....First we should never compare past relationships....PERIOD!! Since this relationship is new......In my opinion.....He should shower you with a nice little bag full of goodies.....favorite c.d....card....gift card to victoria secrets....dinner...etc!! If you are special to him....he needs to show you love!!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Nandi on January 30, 2009 at 4:53pm: Gary, where that #5 Rule came from? LOL. I went back and spoke to him and we came to an agreement with that. I was acting funky today and he kept asking what was up, so I broke it down to him. Now he does things for me. When we first started seeing each other, I was stressing on finding a place for Sec 8, he was there for me. He remembers me at Christmas and on Sunday which is my birthday, he's taking me to breakfast. (he wants to watch the Super Bowl that night, I respect that) His birthday was yesterday, I bought him a gift for it though he told me he don't celebrate it. He's not big on holidays and such at all.

Gary said:
Rule #5....First we should never compare past relationships....PERIOD!! Since this relationship is new......In my opinion.....He should shower you with a nice little bag full of goodies.....favorite c.d....card....gift card to victoria secrets....dinner...etc!! If you are special to him....he needs to show you love!!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by roylee47 on January 30, 2009 at 6:10pm: I agree with Gary's rule number 5. I don't think he would like to hear you say that you will treat him a certain way because this is how your past partners expected it to be done.You move on for a reason. And hopefully, you move past the things which caused the relationship to dissolve. To me this seems like one of them. I always find that some people express how they feel through their actions. Sometimes a woman will say she doesn't want something because she is not trying to say she's all about being materialistic. However, I've never seen a woman throw a tantrum because I went out of my way with a gesture to show how much I loved, and cared for them. The old saying applies here: "Actions speak louder than words"; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Daisy on January 30, 2009 at 6:16pm: Let the church say AMEN! If you are with a person who loves that day then make it work cause its only ONE day. I do not feel either person has to break the bank to make that day special. I am NOT a big b day person but I will want a nice/decent V day when I get a boo..lol

yana said:
People annoy me trying to go out of there way to not celebrate v-day. The whole "love the person you are with every day" line is old. If I happen to like v-day and I want to celebrate my love on that day in an extra special way I don't see what's so wrong with it. You love your mother every day yet we have a special day for that. I'm black every day, but we have a special month for that too.

I would be annoyed with him for comparing me to them too. He's with you now, so break him back IN to it!; ▶ Reply to This